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Sunday, July 15, 2012


This has been a tough subject for me in my adult life.  I’ve learned the hard way who my real friends are, and it hasn’t been all fun and games.  In fact, I’ve cried many tears, but I’m thankful for the life lessons.  In fact, as a parent, I have to share those same life lessons with my boys as they go through some friendship heartbreaks.  It’s something we all inevitably face, but I think it’s something we can all learn from.  I’d rather have ONE real, honest, and reliable friend than TEN fair-weather friends. 

My blogging friend Lin, over at Duck and Wheel With String, recently had to deal with a friendship situation with her teenage daughter.  She wrote up a fabulous analogy, and I asked if I could steal it.  She obliged.  So, here it is…

Friends are sort of like a closet of clothes:

  • There are some that fit like a glove. Then there are those you have to work to get yourself into. There are a few in there that are a bit loose and you sort of have to cinch them with a belt to keep them up.  Sometimes it's worth the effort, sometimes not. 
  • There are clothes that you should have gotten rid of years ago, but memories make you hang onto them--remembering the good times you had with them.
  • There are seasonal clothes--the ones you only drag out for certain times of the year. In that category are special occasion clothes too--holiday clothes, wedding clothes, party clothes, camping clothes, etc.  Sometimes these are the clothes that are tried and true--no matter that you have let them sit in the back of the closet the rest of the year. But some of these are just there because you need them only a few times a year.
  • There are old clothes and new clothes. There are clothes with tags still on them, as you haven't quite figured out if you like them or not yet.  
  • There are warm clothes and cold clothes.  There are clothes with holes from wear and tear, but you still like them.  Some are comfy and easy to wear, while still others are sort of itchy and scratchy.  
  • If you are like me, you have some clothes that are missing buttons or they have frayed edges on the sleeves or legs--but you keep those clothes because you love them just the way they are.
  • And if you are married, you have to sometimes share that closet--his clothes and your clothes mix and share the space--sometimes crowding each other and wrinkling some things.  But it is a give and take, and you just sort of get used to those wrinkles because you realize it isn't something big to fight about.

How about you?  Have you learned some hard, but valuable, life lessons from your friends?  I hope that like me, it’s been something that you can look back on and see as a learning process.  Yes, it’s hard, and we may shed tears…but in the end, we’re probably better off.  Smile


Lin said...

I'm glad that you liked that. :)

Friendships are hard--no matter what the age. And it's even harder when you watch your kids being hurt by their "friends." And you can't tell them what you have learned over the years--they have to figure it out for themselves, unfortunately.

Oh, if only we could prevent them from hurt feelings!!

Liz @ A Nut in a Nutshell said...

I've had some friendships which were effortless, and some so difficult that I eventually just had to let them go. The stress and high maintenance weren't worth it.

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